Finally its test. Miraculously did well =p *Tired from work*Went to Marina Square with Baby. Did have a little stupid 'quarrel', not i want to quarrel with him, but sometimes just super cannot stand. Anyway i've tried to keep my cool, as I have to learn, as my job requires me to do that.Will I become a hypocrite at the end of the day? Or maybe just immune to these type of nonsensical people?Baby going Bintan on Fri morning and he SAYS he can only managed to book Sun's morning ferry back to Singapore. -_-So I can only see him on Sun? or maybe Monday. Out of a sudden he is like so busy.I think I am beginning to suspect him, dun trust him? I feel that he will lie to me a lot of things? or am I thinking too much? The shadows I had from my past relationships had being brought over, maybe thats why I always dun treat him well, dun appreciate him etc. No choice, I have no faith in anything/anyone. I think never in my life will I be able to have hopes, have faith, have trust in anyone anymore. Good also, to 'protect' myself from getting hurt :)When I was very young (Primary Sch), I had learnt to be fierce, have to have that 'I WANT TO KILL U' type of looks. Soon, over the years, till now, I have no control over my temper.These years after I started dating at the age of 13, all the ups & downs (mostly downs) in relationships, makes me become a person whom I am now. Have no respect for my partner, have no trust in my partner etc. But I am still the type of person - one who knew that she will divorce her husband in future, but still wants to get married. Although one thing had change:- I always wanted to marry young, and have a baby BUT NOW, I dun want to marry, I dun wan to be a young mother anymore. Is it becoz of Baby who made me change my views, I dunno. But I just feel: The further I postpone my wedding, the better it is for me & him. But sometimes i feel my love for him is still strong. *Kao, so contradicting!* Cannot stand myself.Sigh, dreamland time again! or else I will be super tired again! Nitezzz*off to sleep*