Traffic is real heavy with ridiculous driver

I actually dunno what is really happening to myself, Baby, us , everybody in this world? Going bonkers? Me, I have irritating colleagues/customers. Customers I can understand, they are always being irritating and nuisance to others. Colleagues -_- , as I was telling Luan Ting. Some ppl can really push their way through. Chasing for the stats becomes their main aim (yes it is one of the impt factor), but it became an irritant and causing inconvenience to others. SO SO SO irritated!!! And its like not once, and its so many times! Whatever they can push away (by telling customers to check again tml), they just pushed! OMG I really could not believe it initially but now I do. Hyprocite, Liars, Irritants!

Baby yesterday's email to me, hmm sort of shocked me. Yes I understand he is under stress. I feel I cannot control my temper anymore. He said he will be having drinking sessions to help in his business?????????? Drinking = Bicycle Business??????? Is this a really ridiculous excuse or is it I am thinking not normally????? He knows that I will think that he is silly by thinking this way, I just find it amazing thats all. I find that we cannot discuss ANYTHING properly at all. We have to quarrel or have different views when we are together. When we don't want to make decision, we won't make decisions, will push to each other. When we want to make decision, the other party will have sth to say. I thought I have give in quite a fair bit compared to my previous relationships. And of course in some ways, I have being more nasty to him than previous ones. Of course I have learnt to protect myself, not letting myself hurt by other ppl. The only person who can hurt me, is myself. I have give in by doing things that I NEVER EVER WANT TO DO. I basically forced myself to do, just because he is pestering, keep pursuading(and the persuading turns too much for me to take till i agree) me to do it. Like, investing? I never trust/want to invest anything at all. and he successfully force me into it! HAHA! And my heart is thinking/hoping to lose ALL OF IT , all of those that I had invested, just because I am not happy to invest, and I do not mind losing it, even though is above 10k.

His and his drinking is pissing me off real badly. Business need him to drink. Friends' BD/Gatherings need him to drink. After work on weekdays, meeting customers need him to drink... Why don't he go sell beer, he may earn more money this way yea? I NEED TO LOOK FOR MORE SINGLE FRIENDS to accompany me on weekends. I REALLY NEED! SIGH!!! Can god tell me, when will I die? PLS PLS PLS.... I can't wait to prepare for that day. And I need to finish my stuff, fulfil my wishes before I go. . .

Mood: Tired, Depressed, Sad, Angry, Mixed Feelings