Oh yes, I still havnt blog abt my batam trip (will blog soon- too lazy to upload pics here)...
This post has no pictures (suddenly feel that no-pictures blog/post is super BORING!)

Today in office, everything is quite ok, no BIG SHIT customers. At 4+pm today, BB sent me a sweet sms. Makes me feel soooooo sweet! A feeling that I dun feel often, nowadays.
But somehow my emo-ness starts after 5pm. Not say very emo, just a little unhappy. I thought i could smell a qurrel for that moment.. I kept telling myself to keep my cool. I am so so so glad that we did not quarrel. :D

After work, I accompany BB to his ID's place again at arab st. BB pushed this appointment till today coz I was away - Batam. :)
After that we went to Yishun - William's mum passed away last night. So we went to the wake. Reached there, played card game and left shortly after. BB and I went home str away-as BB is tired. BB kept asking if I am ok. I am really ok. :) heee... silly.
During the whole Journey from Yishun to Simei... I thought a lot and came to a conclusion. I have decided to leave this job, look for a flat in Jurong, hopefully to brain wash myself! hahah Jus kidding... I thought of my batam trip is over, the things that happened these few days, thought of my grandma, thought of my work, my friends, my family, thinking of the scoldings and quarrels, thinking of all the bad words that was used on me... all these went through my mind, accompanying me throughout the whole journey. :) Thinking of all these, always do make me feel a little emo, a little depressed, a little sad...

After reaching home, BB today suddenly never MIA at home. hahahah then he apologised to me... i feel shocked, i never thought that he would ever apologise to me. The last time when I was shocked and touched by his apologises is Feb2009. Nw I blame god just wanna make fun of me -_-.... Just as i make decisions, BB aplogized that every now and then foolish and childish bb will do or say things to hurt me bad.. but I always will give him a chance to make up for it.. :(
I teared.. Maybe i was just feeling too tired... :( Quarrels may get lesser, but once we had quarrel it is so unbearable. Fri night before I left for batam, we quarrel, to the extend that I just wanna leave and never come bk anymore. :( The hurtful words he said, no matter how hard i tried to explained, he never would want to listen... This broke my heart into million of pieces.
BB said before, because of me he lose his friends, till date I feel super bad about it, although I dun see why initially. He always made me feel that I have done things that I never meant it to be that way. Friday night, he ask if i really love him, on my side, i wanted to ask him so badly that same question :( I told myself the words he used on me, its just because he is angry (and he said i drove him crazy) with me, i keep telling myself he dun mean to scold me like that. But it just hurt me too badly... I kept asking myself, no matter how bad my past relationships were, no one actually used those words on me. I kept wondering what is actually happening to this relationship? is it times had changed? is it normal? is it just me? I dunno. I compared myself to other ppl's relationship, why is it different? Then i told myself again not to compare because everything is different.
Everytime when I tried to explained sth, it will just end up like shit, we will quarrel, and he will say i am trying to force him... :( i dunno. what did i force him? I apologised (sometimes maybe i had a bad day at work, maybe i was tired toking, because I am toking the whole day), but he dun accept and kept asking me what i want, when I so wanted to ask him the same qns.
I feel so helpless... oh god, why am I so emo now...
Anyway I have made up my mind, not to explain anything to BB already. I guess this is the safest and will prevent lots of quarrelling. I promised him, even if i am not happy/angry, i will just try to control. If worse come to worse i cannt control, i will just go to the toilet, whereby I have my own privacy to do anything i want.
YEAH BB! I am so happy I have come to this conclusion and decision. I am looking forward to happy days!

BB, I just wanna to apologise to you. I dun mean to make u lose ur friends, i dun mean to force you anything at all, I dun mean to want to drive you crazy because I know it is not a good feeling at all. Thank you BB, i know its not everyday that you will send me sweet sms/msn. thank you. I will keep the smses and take out and read whenever i am down. :) thanks bb...