Argh i feel so irritated when she is at home.. The whole day is fine.. until she came home from work... once she sat down in front of the television, she has been constantly talking and talking and talking. I feel ... my ears are exploding from the noises......... My head is so heavy and pain... I just wish she would just shut up.

Anyway I feel that she feels that I am earning a million. First tell me find house (yes she thinks its like shopping for clothes and shoes) then she said uncle is coming back tell me to pay rent to him... ?? Now, I am already paying for the 3 of our hp bills, the internet bills, the house phone bills, my poly school fees, and now I have to pay rental. -_- and NEARKLY need to pay for the utilities bills, then the money she got from bro, dad, and her job is for??? for her to give us when she pass away? or wat? sometimes i so super dun understand. I hate it....
The feeling of always having to scold and rant about how i hate to stay with my family and then after that i gt so guilty and apologise to them in my heart... but when all these nonsense starts i can't help but to curse and scold.... I just want to stay alone... Life as a loner will be more fulfiling.

That day was talking o BB about buying a house.. I so have mixed feelings... I want to have my own room, but at theis stage we can only afford a 3 room HDB. If we buy a 3 room, i can see that i will still have to continue sleep in the living room with that thin mattress on the floor like what i am doing now. 4 room flat, i can have my own room but every month i really need to work very hard and no more shoppings... argh! needless to say no more overseas trip.
BB told me to tell mummy take the flat with brother, because next time i will get married, and my husband and I will want to buy a house.... (then i started ''dreaming'' of marrying a rich man... tsk tsk tsk.... BB said my mum only thought of taking a flat with me because i am the only one with income now. brother is still serving his NS... When i thought of this i feel that she is damn bloody selfish. but ... when i thought of sometimes i always thought of when i was young, i kept quiet... ''I was born to serve her, to pay my debts... I swear i wun incur any debts to anyone so that in my next life i will not be that miserable...''

I am so emo and so sad now. I hope that I will have a peaceful night. No quarrels...

Preparing to go out for so emo moments to myself... I can't stand staying here any single second.

****VIVI LOVES***